im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
