After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
