Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
