I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
