dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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