I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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