Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
