if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
