so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
