It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
