Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
