Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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