why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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