I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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