I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
