Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
