Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
