Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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