yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
