Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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