He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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