with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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