Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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