Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
