I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
