I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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