I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
