Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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