week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
