You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
