have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
