One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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