I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
