She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
