I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so let's talk penis.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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