last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
