he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
