i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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