i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
