is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
