Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
