redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
