i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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