i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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