no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
