Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
