I wish I could teleport
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
