I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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