i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
