Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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